


a study in attraction

by invoked_duplicity



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Essik is not really in this fic he is merely talked about, Gen, M/M, Spoilers for Episode 2x63, Team Human Has A Talk, demiromantic!/demisexual! Caleb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 20:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18858205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invoked_duplicity/pseuds/invoked_duplicity
Summary: Caleb asks Beau about her attraction towards women. The conversation doesn't lead where Beau expects it to lead.





	a study in attraction

“Beauregard”, Caleb says quietly in the darkness while Beau tries to ignore the smell of rotten flesh coming from somewhere behind them on the bed. She sits on the wooden floor with her legs crossed, ears listening for every tiny noise.

They cannot fuck this up.

“Caleb”, she answers just as quietly. To her left she can make out Nott’s faint snoring and she tries to push that sound away in favor of anything that might come from the outside. At least Caleb is looking out the dirty window across the street.

“Can I. Uh. Can I ask you a question?”

Beau gave him her goggles so she can’t see shit in the dark, only shapes. Her eyes search for Caleb’s slumped form beside the window and she raises her eyebrows.

“Just did”, she says. Beau knows she can be a little shit. Maybe she should hear what Caleb has to say first. Often enough their talks have taken a rather serious direction without her knowing the actual topic beforehand. She can hear Caleb’s heavy sigh and has to bite back a grin.

“Maybe I should not–”

“Come on, Caleb. It was just a joke. Shoot”, she says and watches as Jester’s shape in the darkness moves slightly in her sleep.

There is a very long pause before Caleb continues speaking.

“How–how long have you known. That. That you liked women?”

Beau blinks against the darkness and almost says “Huh?” like a dumbass, but she swallows around the sound and coughs instead before she can find her words again. This is unexpected.

“Dunno. Forever, I guess. I’ve always been like this.” She hesitates. “Why? How long have you known that you like women?”

The silence that answers her makes her eyebrows climb even higher. She adjusts her legs and leans back against the wall. Somewhere to her right Fjord makes a grunting noise and Beau wonders if he dreams again. She hopes not.

“I–uh. Same as you, I think? I was only ever in love once, so. I cannot say that I have much to go on.”

Beau considers this while also wondering why Caleb even wants to know this. It never seemed to matter before that Beau has the hots for every second lady that looks their way. It’s not like it’s Beau’s fault that women are just overall great to look at.

“Yeah but like. Don’t you ever just look at someone and think they’re fucking hot shit or something?”, she wants to know. It’s not like she’s deeply interested in Caleb’s preferences, be they romantic or sexual, but the way he talks makes her think that Caleb considers being in love the only marker to indicate orientation of a certain kind.

“Um. I. No. Not–not usually. No.”

Beau grins. She can’t help it.

“Wait, wait! Are you telling me you’re having the hots for someone for the first time ever?”

The noise Caleb makes says yes. It also says that Caleb is currently dying of embarrassment, something Beau takes a lot of delight in. Thinking about their earlier conversation she snorts while laughing and pokes:

“I knew I felt that tension between you and Nott.”

“Beauregard”, Caleb hisses.

“What?”

“You know that I have not–there is not any–Nott and I are friends!”

Beau chuckles and shortly considers moving next to Caleb to look out the window and maybe take a peek at Caleb’s face, probably flushed red. But she decides against it. There’s a reason why Caleb only managed to ask this in complete darkness. Beau knows that some things are easier said when there is no light on.

“Yeah, yeah. Calm your tits, man. So. Who is it then? Have we passed some hot drow lady on the streets and I didn’t notice her? You need to point that shit out, Caleb. I deserve to look at hot drow ladies, too!”

Caleb clears his throat four times before speaking again.

“It–it wasn’t a… this is not about a woman.”

Oh. Oh!

“Oh!”

“Ja. _Oh_ , indeed.”

“Ohhh. And you’ve never–?”

“No. Not ever.”

“Huh.”

Beau is silent for a minute while she considers this. Do people have a crisis over something like this? Does she need to be extra sensitive? Does she have to tiptoe around this topic? She has no idea. So Beau decides to just go for it.

“Ok, so who is it then?”

A scene replays in her mind of two men bent over magical tomes, speaking in hushed voices. She thinks about a pretty face and an amused lilt, about how a certain mage refused to step inside their house until Caleb invited him in.

Huh.

Caleb hasn’t answered yet, but Beau is fairly certain that she’s right.

“Is it Essik? It’s totally Essik, isn’t it? I mean, not that I can relate, man, but. I guess he’s pretty handsome. Or whatever it is dudes wanna be called when they’re hot shit.”

Caleb exhales before breathing in again.

“I should not–he’s–I have no idea what to _do_.”

Beau knows that he can’t see her, but she shrugs nonetheless.

“Well. To be honest he seemed pretty into you, you know? I offered him fucking cocktails like, ten times, and then you came along and just looked at him with your sad eyes and showed him your weird spell and he was basically throwing himself at you with all his magic shit”, she says.

She’s probably not the best person to give advice when it comes to relationship. But when it comes to hooking up, she knows a thing or two. Although she never tried to get it on with a powerful magical prodigy born into a culture she understood exactly zero of.

So maybe Caleb’s situation might be a bit more difficult.

“But–how can you–ugh.”

Beau covers her laugh with her right hand.

“Are you actually fucking flustered right now, Caleb? Because I told you a fucking pretty boy _likes_ you?”

“No!”

“You’re fucking flustered is what you are!”

“I–”

“It’s no big deal, man. Just go for it. Keep doing your thing. He’s a smooth son of a bitch, he’ll probably make a move before you know it.”

The silence that follows is very long and Beau thinks that Caleb might be done with the topic. But then he speaks up again, even quieter than before.

“So you do not find it weird?”

“I mean. I find it weird being attracted to dudes alright. Because I don’t get it. But not because of any other reason.”

“I see.” A rustling in the dark. “Thank you.”

“No problem, dude.”


End file.
